There are more than a few aspects of working for yourself that are big and a little bit terrifying, right? I’ve been known to sloth in the bed, not wanting to get up, because the idea of governing all the moving parts of my day as a business owner was too overwhelming on that particular Tuesday.
Mocking myself doesn’t work. That just makes me have crappy feelings about my self-worth, then I’m sad, mad, AND unmotivated, which means I’m going to eat half a bag of those poofy white cheddar Cheetos. That’s not in my best interests, so I found something that’s healthier for me both mentally and physically.
Let’s talk about playacting today. Not the psychopathic kind that gets you in trouble and makes others feel bad, silly. I’m talking about the beneficial sort of playacting, the one that gets you across a psychological hump.
Maybe you relate?
Here’s a conversation that my partner and I have from time to time. (Mostly on Tuesdays, for some reason.)
“If it’s THIS stressful for you, why not just get a job?”
“Because I’m not a quitter.”
“There you go,” he says, with finality.
On days that he’s feeling particularly feisty, he might add an aside about putting on pants (as IF) or something like that. This is balanced by the fact that he always asks if I need coffee when he’s headed back to the kitchen on a break so that I can keep my head in my work if I want to, pants or no pants.
You don’t need permission to playact
Remember when you were a little kid and you loved someone SO MUCH that you wanted to be them?
- You thought, “If I had that kind of hair I would feel so beautiful.”
- You owned all that ass-kicking and name-taking like a boss.
- You dreamed of being able to fly, of rescuing people who needed their situation sorted stat.
- You made it a point to live-action roleplay the act of being this person. You probably even enlisted your friends and family to join you in your adventures.
You didn’t ask anyone. You just went on and adopted your hero’s mannerisms, their way of speaking, and their preferences while you were standing in their metaphorical footwear.
Except in reality you didn’t. You employed your version (vision?) and interpretation of those things. And you got lost in that. You had fun with this new way of being. In having fun with it, you were able to try it out to see if it worked for you. Playacting allowed you to experiment with your idol’s approach so you’d learn whether or not it was something you could use.
In other words, you made it your own, and if it worked for you, you stepped into that thing and it became part of you. And you didn’t bother to ask anyone if it was okay: You just sorta did it, you natural-born performer, you.
Conceive then achieve
What you think about, you become.
I know that platitudes are annoying. (GAH, BECKY!) But this one happens to be true. The word mindset is just a shorter, loftier way of saying that what you fix your brain on is what transforms you, to the good or the ill.
You’re always feeding your headmeat. Be careful to feed it healthy amounts of the good stuff, buddy.
I want you to think about people you admire. You know, those people who always have the joke, or the wardrobe, or the confidence nailed. Just being around them makes you antsy to level up. They’re the someones you want to emulate because they light a fire under you without even batting an eye.
Consider what it is about those individuals that makes you want to be like them. What do they have in their emotional toolbox that you would benefit you? Which skills do they have that would help equip you on your current mission? Then anytime you don’t feel very sure of yourself, pause to ask yourself how so-and-so might handle the situation. Hell, sit down with pen and paper and make it a physical exercise so that you’re forced to really throw some thinks at it.
This approach may sound silly to you, but it works, I promise. That’s because it gets you out of your head, effectively taking some of the pressure off and getting you out of your own way.
Getting out of your own way is usually the biggest step toward finding and employing your best solution.
Who are you gonna be?
So the next time you’re Having a Tuesday and need to put some oomph in your situation, think of the person whose personal superpower you need. Then let their approach guide your day. I’d love to hear about whose actions you’re mimicking to get the win.
Me? I’m over here Evel Knieveling the shit out of this week.